My Lands: Black Gem Hunting

(...) Night had long since fallen however it was not an ordinary night. Tonight was supposed to bring to all glory and victory. Suddenly a loud, terrifying scream. Monster's scream. After a while You hear a sound of starting battle. Now everything is in the hands of the gods. (...)

In a distant land in the ivy-covered castle there was confusion. People were running in every direction by doing the assigned tasks. In a large meeting room by the small table in the corner of this room sat a young knight. He was reviewing and composing reports. It was so boring occupation that He listened talks coming from the center of the Hall. At a large table sat a military council. It consisted of Talia's Commander, Military Minister, representatives of the guild of magicians, spies and merchants. Gathering concerned issues related to dangerous attacks of monsters, urban development, trade and fight with the other neighboring rulers. Most of the time occupied case of monsters. They raided and destroyed everything in it’s path. Arriving from the ruins scattered throughout the kingdom. The army still was sent to attack but still could not beat them to the end. Ruins popping up in the most unexpected places. When the world was legendary mythical arch of ruins inhabited by monsters. Each ruler wanted to deal with this obstacle. Such a feat has learned to the whole world.

Late in the evening the conversation came to an end. In the Hall of the meeting was only the commander and the young knight. It has been a few more reports to organize. Knight yawned and froze the report in his hand. He read it again in disbelief. He got up and ran to the commander. He gave a report with your hands trembling. The commander looked at him, quickly read the report and called for a knight to convene immediately the trick of war. It did not take much time and advice is sought. The commander presented the information contained in the report. The report concerned find the location of the legendary arch ruins! The reports turned out to be worse than everyone could expect. Total monsters in arch ruin was huge. Number of troops was not enough to overcome it. The commander had no choice but to ask for help from another ruler. Suddenly, from behind the table stood Military Minister and smiling happily said that he has an idea how to defeat the monsters. His plan included two attacks. The attack on the backs of monsters performed by hired assassins and a central attack regular army. The entire council agreed with the Minister on his plan.

Whole army marched towards the arch ruins. In the dark you could see resident monsters. All military units were ready to the battle according to plan. Only waited for the order to attack. There was a deafening silence. Something was wrong. Suddenly You could hear scary and loud a monster's scream. They were noticed by the Monsters! The commander did not wait more ordered the attack and the army moved. The battle was long and fierce. Many soldiers were killed on the battlefield. Even the healing power of the Templars was not able to resurrect all dead bodies. Despite this the army returned with praise on your lips. The battle was successful. Arch ruin was defeated. The commander returned surrounded by joyful shouts. He was happy but still was feeling the bitter taste of the loss of so many people. He promised himself the next time will not allow the death of so many comrades.

Talia you are such a killer of monsters.

Ron

Beauty TRUE story

Hello,
Congratulation on the great feat! Well done! Your story however needs further improvements. It appears a little too short and a greater attention to grammar would be advisable.

I think like a person who does not speak english grammar is good enough.
However I picked up some things and have improved to my best ability.

The number of words I have used is optional for me, as there are no restricted amount of words to write my Story.

( ... ) Night had long since fallen however it was not an ordinary night. Tonight was supposed to bring to all glory and victory. Suddenly a loud, terrifying scream. Monster's scream. After a while You hear a sound of starting battle. Now everything is in the hands of the gods. (...)

In the distant land in a ivy-covered castle there was confusion. People were running in every direction by doing the assigned tasks. In a large meeting room by the small table in the corner of this room sat a young knight. He was reviewing and composing reports. It was so boring occupation that He listened talks coming from the center of the Hall. At a large table sat a military council. It consisted of Talia's Commander, Military Minister, representatives of the guild of magicians, spies and merchants. Gathering concerned issues related to dangerous attacks of monsters, urban development, trade and fight with the other neighboring rulers. Most of the time occupied case of monsters. They raided and destroyed everything in it’s path. Arriving from the ruins scattered throughout the kingdom. The army still was sent to attack but still could not beat them to the end. Ruins popping up in the most unexpected places. When the world was legendary mythical arch of ruins inhabited by monsters. Each ruler wanted to deal with this obstacle . Such a feat has learned to the whole world.

Late in the evening the conversation came to an end. In the Hall of the meeting was only the commander and the young knight. It has been a few more reports to organize. Knight yawned and froze the report in his hand. He read it again in disbelief . He got up and ran to the commander. He gave a report with his hands trembling. The commander looked at him, quickly read the report and called for a knight to convene immediately the trick of war. It did not take much time and advice is sought. The commander presented the information contained in the report. The report concerned find the location of the legendary arch ruins! The reports turned out to be worse than everyone could expect. Total monsters in arch ruin was huge. Number of troops was not enough to overcome it. The commander had no choice but to ask for help from another ruler . Suddenly, from behind the table stood Military Minister and smiling happily said that he has an idea how to defeat the monsters . His plan included two attacks. The attack on the backs of monsters performed by hired assassins and a central attack regular army. The entire council agreed with the Minister on his plan.

Whole army marched towards the arch ruins. In the dark you could see resident monsters. All military units were ready to the battle according to plan. Only waited for the order to attack. There was a deafening silence. Something was wrong. Suddenly You could hear scary and loud a monster's scream. They were noticed by the Monsters! The commander did not wait no more. Ordered the attack and the army moved .The battle was long and fierce. Many soldiers were killed on the battlefield. Even the healing power of the Templars was not able to resurrect all dead bodies. Despite this the army returned with praise on your lips. The battle was successful. Arch ruin was defeated. The commander returned surrounded by joyful shouts. He was happy but still was feeling the bitter taste of the loss of so many people. He promised himself the next time will not allow the death of so many comrades.

Unfortunately, we would still ask you to improve the grammar. And the story itself seems to be more of a tale how you prepared for the battle, but not how you annihilated the ruin. The annihilation is only mentioned in few words. But this should be a story about annihilation in the first place.

The story part 2

General Talia diary

It was just a few hours since a report was delivered. The report shown that enemies were too strong and I wouldn’t have any chance to defeat them. But war minister has plan…

Plan sets up sacrifice of 5 battalions of assassins. Yes, it is sacrifice, because there was no possibility to win upcoming battle without such large loss. Assassins will attack from the back of the fortress while the rest of the army will perform the frontal attack . War minister said, that it is the only possibility to win. Is it acceptable to sacrifice all assassins to get eternal glory?

And here we are, hidden in bush and dense forest. Night is very dark, too dark to notice anything. People are very nervous and impatient and I don’t know why. Maybe it is because battle will start very soon. It is very quiet. Even messengers stopped their work. All battalion commanders have orders. If all orders are performed correctly we will win that battle.

Something went wrongso we had few problems during the battle. Enemies noticed my army. My army should be ready to attack. But it wasn’t. A lot of people died that night and I probably never get answer who is blame that mistake.

Spies should give signs to begin the battle. We were waiting but suddenly we heard frightful monster scream. That scream trigger an alarm in enemy camp. We lost our surprise. We hadn’t time to lose so it was high time to begin the battle. Assassins attacked but monsters were prepared to fight back. Archers joined the battle very quickly. They attacked all monsters on the wall. After that centaur battalion attacked the main entry and Griffins dashed the last enemies on the wall. When the main entry was smashed knights enter the fortress. I lost a lot of my soldiers, because assassins’ attack wasn’t so successful as I expected. Butoponent was in lostsituation.

I achieved goal but with high price. I still don’t know is it worth to devote so much of lives to win one battle. But we did it and we defeat Arch Ruin!

That quest didn't contain any informacion about how long the story should be and what should be described. I think that the following story is written much better and you will not have any objections.

I see people here are so busy so they have not time for forum.
Thank for the quick and comprehensive response to my post... Maybe someday I get the answer.