My Lands: Black Gem Hunting

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 Post subject: Arch-Ruin 10.04.2017
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2017, 07:51 
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Bodiless Spirit

Joined: 20 Aug 2013, 18:10
Posts: 4
The long and bloody war has not finished yet... Old and tired emperor with his bloodstained eyes waiting new coordinate from first officer abouth Grail... but an unusual excitement was felt on the bridge, the radio operator had an unusual message from a little allied but Signal is too weak and officers were still trying to confirm the news. There were too many messages and fake attack signal from enemy galaxies... All the red lights were on as usual... Finally a careful operator faund message, it was a short message "Report on outer domain location" the officers probably thought it was a ordinary ruin spotted, they didnt check it at map... probably they will punish for this mistake.. the first officer whose foul-spoken when recaive news look at the map and said "holy shit", he immediately
asked spy and vision report from arch-ruin, vision report seems clear. but spy report seems not good the ruins has just 21k BG!!! he thought The gods must be very stingy.. Took the reports to the emperor without wasting any more time... The emperor has not come to the bridge yet, he rested in the room. he understood who is coming when heard hectic footsteps of the corridor. the emperor who took news butt still calm, he assessment stuation for a short time. and told the order, "all crew go to battle position" also asked find a shortest route from navigation officer. "second fleet must be ready at closer domain to Arch-Ruin. also main fleet must be stay ready to grail... the partner send a message his attack time, everything was ok and wait to arrive second fleet start position. By the way, the grail appeared on so far position... after 15 minutes the strike to arch-ruin has been started.... seems everything ok... all creew came to bridge to watch battle... the battle was short.... It was time to celebrate now... all pillage sent to storage to buy new weapons... The emperor wrote to logbook following message: "we dont know How can we continue this fight, all enemies using cheat, they all times faund Mineral filled planets, they menaged/used many many little ships to find flags and send spam to us, very few empires left behind on all universe. The Gods must be find a way to jump other universe.. to more excitement, more action and more battles...


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 Post subject: Re: Arch-Ruin 10.04.2017
PostPosted: 20 Apr 2017, 06:20 
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Captain

Joined: 27 Jan 2015, 03:10
Posts: 83
Congratulation on the great feat! Well done! Your story however needs further improvements. It appears a little too short and a greater attention to grammar would be advisable. Please add more details to the description of the battle.
You may combine your stories and post only one. The story will count for both players.


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